I’m stalling. Today, is the annual banking law update CLE. CLE stands for continued legal education, but really it just means over-priced seminar you are required to attend to maintain your license to practice law.
The information presented at this seminar is great. The presenters are top in their field. Some of the brightest minds around, but they are also some of the most boring. Seriously, intelligence pairs well with humor. I’m not sure why their genes split and the humor gene went recessive. I understand that banking laws and regulations aren’t necessarily a sexy topic (I think they are but I’m kind of weird like that), but even the attempt at humor from this group would be funny.
For the next six hours I will do my best to (1) keep my eyes open (no glassy eyes, no drooping eyelids); and (2) appear to be interested and engaged (Perfecting my acting skills. Yes, I know it’s a plastic knife but I’m pretty sure if I press hard enough I can still slit my wrists with it.)
I also get the joy of sitting in a room filled with people, a lot of them I know, but who all pretend they don’t see each other. Why do people do that? Social phobia’s, I don’t really like you, please… I’m trying to be pretentious here?
Finally, the presenters are all attorneys. Have you ever been in a social setting with a group of attorneys? This usually means the day will be filled with war stories. Each will tell us about cases they’ve litigated, and each of those cases will have absolutely nothing to do with the topic. I like stories, but not these kinds, and not for six hours.
For all the petty folks who realize I’m not in the office on a Friday and have a need to say “It must be nice….” or “I wish I could take off on Friday…” please…. please…. come trade places with me (just make sure I get credit for the seminar)!