I’m Such a Fake

That got your attention. I really dislike fake. I know politics are a way of life. I do realize there are plenty of times we must pretend for the sake of appearances. I do understand there are times I must participate, but I just really don’t like playing the game. The stresssssss… the pressure… Ugh! It makes this girl want to scream.

I must release the weight of this burden. There is just simply no other way. I must face the truth. I must stop being fake. I have a confession to make. (Deep breath). Okay, I can do this. Here goes…

I don’t really like wine. It’s too sweet and tastes nasty. I don’t really like beer either. It just makes you feel full and pee a lot. I only pretend to like wine because it sounds more ladylike than hit me with a shot of vodka!  How else do you say, “I’ve had a long week, I’m going to sit back tonight and relax with a… with a… with a glass of… Er! A mini glass, a really mini glass… filled with liquid potatoes…?”  See what I mean?  You can’t do it. Nothing romantic, sweet, or ladylike about that at all.

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. I feel better already. FREE. Free at last. There’ll be no wine-sippin’, dainty, pinky’s pointed to the sky, at my house. No sir! And, there’ll be no beer-chugging either (but it pairs so well with blue jeans and Friday nights- lyrically, at least). No sir! Not for me. But, I just might consume all my veggies, even the starchy, liquified ones, because being healthy is important.

Hit me with the Top Shelf, expensive date, he needs to impress me, version.

It’s Fri-YAY, y’all. Cheers (and giggles)!

3 thoughts on “I’m Such a Fake

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s