I do a lot of self-reflection or at least I attempt to. One area of focus for me lately is to try to ascertain the “why” a particular trait or behavior by another individual invokes my ire. Why are you so darn irritating? (Not exactly, but you get it.) When I start feeling frustrated by someone else’s behavior my goal has been to stop, implicate my internal critical thinking mechanism, and ask myself this simple question;
“Why does this bother me?” It seems really simple, right? Yeah, well, it’s not.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts you know I don’t sugarcoat. I try to get right to the point (A quick dagger to the heart. Just get it over with already!) I treat myself in the same manner. (No sugar-coating, Princess. Answer the question and give all the reasons as to why.) In order to answer this question I have to be totally honest…brutally honest. I’ll admit, sometimes, a lot of times, I don’t like the answers. Some of the reasons are perfectly logical and legitimate and some of them… ummm… some of them are just ridiculous.
Once I’ve gone through the process of completing step one and have ascertained all (Yes all) the reasons why I find you… er… I mean a trait or behavior irritating, I then ask myself a second question;
“Do I do that?”
This question gets a little complicated and much more messy. (Honesty, Princess. Say it like it is!) I’ve found there are many times when I have to admit that; “Yeah, I do do that.” Augh! (Firing squad or alter… decisions… decisions…).
Then reality comes thundering down. If I do that… that thing… that behavior… then fairness dictates I must require myself to make one of the two following choices:
- I accept the behavior and get over it, like pronto get over it; or
- I have to change my own behavior (No! No! No! I told you it wasn’t easy. Imagine a six-year-old smug girl in pig-tails sticking her tongue out at you. I am not above telling you; “I told you so.” In fact, I kind of enjoy it. Accepted behavior. You are on your own.)
My point is…? If you all could just be really nice to me and not say or do anything stupid, obnoxious, arrogant, stubborn, obstinate, sarcastic… Seriously, be on your best behavior all the time when interacting with me, even in the slightest form, that would sure save me some self-reflecting heartburn. Your cooperation is much appreciated.