My son, Tyler, will be entering his senior year of high school in August. My son did very well on his ACTs which equates to my receiving university recruiting materials in the mail and via e-mail daily. Today, my son received recruiting materials addressed to: “Jose Rolke.” Did I mention his name is Tyler? Good.
After the week I had this little piece of mail was my bright spot. It brought me much needed laughter. I immediately took to Facebook (Duh. What else do you do in those situations just throw it away? I think not!) to share a picture of the piece of mail and spread the joy:
“Apparently I’ve given birth to a Hispanic child. I’m guessing accuracy and attention to detail are not top priorities at this University.”
Yet, I still have these burning questions and who better to share them with than you?
- Do you think it’s okay to still ask him to mow the lawn? I don’t want to be offensive or anything.
- When should I share the news with my husband that he is NOT the father? Maybe I should contact the Maury show.
- Who is the father? I’ve never had relations with a hispanic man. Hospital switch. Of course, it’s the only possible conclusion.
- I’m not sure why his driver’s license isn’t restricted to “Driving Privileges Only” and not to be used for identification purposes. Should I check with Homeland Security?
- If undocumented individuals get as many perks as the fear mongers suggest, I could get used to Jose. J-O-S-E. It’s not bad. College is expensive. Where do I sign up for the free stuff?
- Shouldn’t his English classes also count as foreign language credits?
- Why does he look so white?
- Was my whole life just a lie?
- Will they deport him? I mean… sure I’ll be sad for a few days but it will save me a boatload of money.